I just wanted you to know
The other day I wrote a really long message about feeling really bothered when
I was stood up without any notice multiple times. Very shortly thereafter, I
had so so many of you write to me and tell me encouraging sentiments. I was so
overwhelmed by the massive amount of contact that was made with me. I mean this
both as that it was emotionally overwhelming and touching in such a wonderful
way. And I also ment it as it was really literally overwhelming due to the
enormous influx of communication and feeling like I couldn't keep up at all and
some of you were not pleased. I did my best to get back to every person who
wrote to me but I know that I still disappointed some of you. Then in about an
hour's time; a couple of things happened that turned my day right back to
terrible. That was when I went silent. First of all, I kept something really
serious to myself; the specific reason I was so desperate and with a sense of
real urgency to make as much in donation as I could. Furthermore, I needed to
do so in only a few days. That reason was that my puppy, Ittybittybearbear, was
displaying obvious signs of needing to be seen by a veterinarian. I was at the
point of being in an actual crisis, given that not only was I not able to get
one client to follow through... I had that same terrible occurrence take place
each and every time I scheduled with another client, one after another. That
resulted in no donations coming in and making it impossible to take Bear to be
seen. Fast forward to just after complaining about that happening. As I'm
speaking to many of you, and even trying to make plans with some of you, Bear
comes over to me crying and basically collapses in my lap and he is absolutely
burning up. It was from that moment and maybe a little bit ago that I have been
silent. I took him to the animal er right near my house basically right after
he came to me for help. I tend to keep things like their meeting to see if it
to myself when I'm trying to get donations and I am frantic because people
accuse others of lying or making up stories when they are honest about what
they need help with. Unfortunately that is because I would venture to say if
people do say things like that they are sometimes lying and making up whatever
they can think of to pull on the heartstrings our guilt trip into giving them
donations. So I just thought it would be better to keep this to myself. But
that was why I was so upset about not having anyone follow through and that was
also why I just disappeared in the middle of when I was talking to everyone. I
would like to mention that additionally besides the terrifying health scare
with baby bearbear, that very same day... only an hour or two after bear needed
to go to the ER, half of our fence in the backyard fell down and is still down
to this very moment. It is just... ummmmmm... a lot. A whole freaking lot. So I
truly am sorry for complaining about flakes, only to just piss you all off
right after. I would think though, that while the events of that day are not an
excuse... I would think that it would hopefully be easier to understand why I
disappeared and why I didn't really feel in the mood to pick conversation back
up until recently. Especially after reading some hurtful comments from you guys
who were mad and wanted to be mean before you even knew what was going on.
blah. Ok I am done. Whoever wants to see my puppy or broken fence, hmu. ALSO I
HAVE HUGE FREAKING BILLS NOW FOR BEAR AND THE FENCE TOO. I'M THINKING ABOUT
MAKING A FUCKING SEXY SNAPCHAT TO TAKE DONATIONS FOR MEMBERSHIPS TO. ASK ME FOR
DEETS.
